I'm having issues here.
Pozzy is a happy happy child. like i have stated in the past that its rare anyone would see her "melt downs" but when she has them she lashes out.. Hits only us (sister, me, dad) , now we have tried to spank (not hard) or a swat on the hand , she just hits back. Sometimes when she's just having a bad over sensory day she lashes out at us (esp her sister) and grabs her hair , we just pull her away and get her away from the situation. It seems to work sometimes but then she goes crazy. She has this super melt down . We try time out she wont sit (why would she , she doesn't sit for more then 3 minutes) she will kick , bite, whatever she can to get out of time out. I'm thinking about putting the pack n play up or finding a little gated area she can just be in with nothing in it.
Does anyone have any books they could recommend? Any suggestions? I'm really running out of options. I have been pretty good with all the stuff that comes with the sensory but her lashing out and meltdowns i'm not prepared for.
Have you ever read the happiest toddler on the block ? I used its techniques on my kids with success although I'm not terribly consistent with it.
ReplyDeleteNo i haven't. But i will look for it.
ReplyDeletehave you ever tried a calming hold? Hold her from behind, holding her arms down and don't let go until she calms down? It has a specific name but I can't remember. We had to give the Head Start teacher permission to do this for Dominic years ago.
ReplyDeleteYeah we do the holding arms down that is when she kicks and screams.
ReplyDeleteWith my autistic kids, you know this is my life. I've been able to control these outbursts. Every child is different and every technique to teach is different. However, you do need to approach the situation before the meltdown is in full force. If the meltdown has already started, then she needs to be removed from the room and in a designated spot for her to sit until she calms down. Time out doesn't work? Keep trying. I know it's exhausting, but the consistency is crucial. Violence is not the answer and she will see it as being allowed every time she's gotten her way. With my kids, they have to sit on their bed. No touching other people, we keep our hands and feet to ourselves. No, they are not allowed to throw things, if they do, things are removed and no longer available for play time. My kids have a mountain of issues, but they are kids and I do not expect any less from them as I do other children that do not have issues.
ReplyDeleteI found this to be very helpful here (a lot more helpful information on this page): http://www.empoweringparents.com/managing-meltdown.php
You have to not give into the meltdown, but you have to understand it and what starts it. Step one is to identify what triggers the child’s behavior--through either you own observations, knowledge or insight, through what you can elicit from the child or what you observe in the environment. Step two is to teach the child that acting out is not the way to manage this. The key is not to listen to the excuse afterwards; it’s getting the kid to understand that when a particular thing happens, he begins to get upset. And when he begins to get upset, there are things he has to do differently in order not to lose control.
The most effective way to do it is to intervene right when the child starts to lose control and say one of the following:
•“This is what seems to trigger you. Let’s look at what you do when you get angry.”
•“Let’s look at what you do when you don’t get your way.”
Don’t say: “How do you feel?” Say, “Let’s look at what you do when you get angry.”
We have done "pushes" with C when he gets like that. It is sensory-overload for him, so it takes us a minute to realize it isn't really the problem that just occurred that is causing the meltdown. We take our hands from behind him, and push solidly down where the neck meets the shoulders. We do this a few times, maybe up to 10. If he seems to be calming, we move our hands down to his waist and push in and down slightly.
ReplyDeleteWhen he asks for "pushes," he likes it when we take each limb and push on them. For instance, the arms: take his hand in one hand and elbow at a right angle in the other, and squeeze together (slightly, not hard), release, squeeze, release. Then take the elbow at a right angle and shoulder, and squeeze again. We do the same thing with his legs: heel and knee at right angle, and knee and hip, both at right angles. This really calms him.
He still gets a punishment if he did something really against our house rules. Typically, it is until he calms down or 1 minute after he does (if we had to do pushes). We always explain a million times why he gets the punishment. We want him to learn that the behavior is not allowed, even though we understand why he did what he did. He needs to learn to control it.
I haven't read the happiest toddler, but the Sensory Sensitive Child is really good. I figured out the times when C is sensory seeking and sensory avoiding, and how to help him in those instances.
Oh, and when it gets really bad and he obviously won't calm for any reason, we bear-hug him until he does. Our arms around his, and a leg (both if we can) wrapped around his legs to keep him from kicking. He hates it a lot!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your information, we do the bear hug.
ReplyDelete